I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
