JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
