If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
