i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
