I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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