you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
