There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
