Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
