that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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