Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
