in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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