Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Randomize
