During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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