Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
