Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Randomize
