What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
