the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
