Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
When are your genitals available?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
