Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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