Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
