you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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