A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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