We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
