Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
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