What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
