so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
