dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
