thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
be right there i have to get my cape
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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