Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
