but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
