Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Rumble strips road head = magical
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
