A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
