I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
