Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
