Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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