how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
