I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
