The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
