He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
