He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
