I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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