my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
