Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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