some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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