I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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