covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Your penis caused this!
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