I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Randomize
