Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
