Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize