her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
