It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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