SEEEEXXX PLEASE
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
